Let"s talk about Being Single

If you read my last post you saw that I want to start a blog series of sorts where I discuss the daily struggles and situations I think are "hot topics" for a 22 year old female. Also, if you read my last post, you would have seen that I wanted to write about boys in the next week. Well, its more than two weeks later and I am not talking about boys. It began about boys but has transpired into a blog about being single and dealing with it. So if you were expecting boys, sorry, we'll get to them someday. I mean how interesting are they anyways?

Nah, not that interesting at all ;)

So, what gives me authority to speak on the matter? Well, in most eyes, nothing. I have never been in any semblance of a relationship. I am only 22 and have not had enough "experience" in the area of relationships. However, I will say that in my 22 years I have seen my friends go through so many heartbreaks and difficulties with their relationships. I have listened to elders, preachers, and ministers tell me to be wary of who I date and how to properly choose my future husband. Most importantly,  I have studied the Bible and I have read what God says about relationships and who he says we should choose as our mate.

"You marry who you date." This is what I have been told since I was about thirteen years old. Anytime my youth minister spoke about dating this is what he always said and it is so true. A lot of my friends would call me high maintenance and picky because I live by this when it comes to relationships. I, even sometimes wonder if I'm too choosy when it comes to boyfriends. However, I know that by setting standards and following them that I am saving myself for a marriage that will last. And, in today's society where forty to fifty percent of new marriages will end in divorce, it is of great worth to be so selective.

God says a few things about being single and its value and how to and who choose when searching for your spouse. He says in I Corinthians 7:32-37, " I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.  I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin. But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well." God says that being unmarried puts your whole attention on the Lord and makes you anxious about Him instead of worldly things. It is better to be single, if your desires are in control, so that you may focus wholly on God and God says that that person will do well. God says also that we should not be with unbelievers. I need to choose a Christian to be my mate. He states as much in II Corinthians 6:14-17, "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said,

“I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them,
    and I will be their God,
    and they shall be my people. 

 Therefore go out from their midst,
    and be separate from them, says the Lord,
and touch no unclean thing;
    then I will welcome you,"

 I think, also, personally I need to become comfortable with my "singleness" as it is in order that I may find "Mr. Right" as he is so ridiculously called. Because, let's face it who really is Mr. Right? But that is besides the point right now. I think that any young lady looking for her husband needs to be content in her single-hood. She and I both need to realize that being single is not all that terrible. For the most part, this is pretty easy for me. However, there are some days (more than I'd like to admit) that I am not happy being single. I see all these couples, especially at this Christian university where the M.R.S. degree is the most sought after document, and I think to myself, "What a wonderful world." No, but really, it gets to me. I see these couples getting married, having children, and the green eyed monster seeps in. I want children and a husband, but what I don't realize in my dream state is that I do not want them now. There is no way that at 22 I am mentally able to sustain a relationship with someone else let alone take care of mini me's. Quickly, I slap myself out of dream world and wake up to the realization that I am single and that is where I need to be right now.

Being single is such a glorious thing and at this point in your life it is the best time to not be "with" someone else.  There is no better time to celebrate the joys of single-hood than in your college years. There is no need to be tied down to anyone and be dependent on another person. This is your time to explore and branch out. It's your time to build your own life. This is when you begin to build your own faith and not the faith of your parents. This is when you learn how to live on your own and become responsible for yourself. This is the time to find others who believe and think the way you do and to find those that do not so that you have hearty debates that test and strengthen your faith. This is only the beginning. This is when you truly begin to define yourself and figure out who you are. It is only then, as you realize and define your identity, that you begin to look for your helpmate. 

Another motive that keeps me single is Facebook. I mean, don't even get me started. Oh wait, I already have. Facebook has got to be the worst thing for relationships since the idea of an open relationship. I mean with so many ways that a person can be in a relationship these days it's a wonder that the divorce rate isn't higher. I mean you can be in and out of a "relationship" within hours. Facebook has taken the term relationship and made it a popular idea that a relationship isn't actually a relationship until it's "Facebook official." How inane!  Sorry for that tangent, but it needed to be said. 

With all this rambling I have just done, I hope that I have written something beneficial to you whether about your single life, your relationships or even if I simply made you laugh. I write what I write mostly for my own catharsis, but I do hope it puts joy into my readers lives as well and hopefully helps them in some way. And just remember, the next time you see a couple, that being single is not all that bad and much better than people make it seem.