Some days I think its good to have the break. Other days, I think its not so great. I mean I have been in school for close to 18 years and I deserve a break, right? Yet, I do need to get on with my life and look to the future and start to set up a plan. The only problem is I am not exactly sure what I want to do now that I am done.
I have a plan and I want to do it, but sometimes I don't want to do it. Does that even make sense? I plan to take classes in the fall and possibly spring to get ready for graduate school. I plan to take the GRE in the fall and apply to at least 3 schools. I plan to be in grad school by the summer or fall of next year. I plan to sign a year lease with my roommates at my new home. I plan to start paying off my student debt so that in 2 to 3 years I can start my traveling. PLAN PLAN PLAN PLAN. You know, I really hate that word.
With all these ideas and plans running through my head, comes the stress. Stress and worry are two words that have hardly ever been in my dictionary and I have no idea how to handle it. For now though, I'm looking to scripture and remembering Matthew 6:25-34:
25 “Therefore I tell you, do
not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will
drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than
food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But
if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and
tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. 34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
I am taking the jokes on my behalf and the advice given to me daily in stride. As long as I am happy where I am and my family is and most importantly I feel that God is, then I am fine being "lazy" for now. I am happy with where I am because I know the plans I have laid out for me and that I am working and striving toward my goals, but most of all I am joyful because I do not know what God has in store for me but I do know that he is there for me and he carries my burdens and worries so that I do not have to. I know that as long as I work, I will eat, and as long as I am healthy I can serve my Lord and that is all I need in life.
