Around a month ago, myself, Dr. Trull (a Bible teacher at Faulkner), his wife, and seven other students set out for Oklahoma Christian University in Edmond, OK about thirty minutes outside of Oklahoma City. We were headed for the annual World Mission Workshop. Since I have put off this blog for a few weeks my thoughts are not as clear as they were but I did journal while I was there and took notes. I want to share my experience there with you now and how it has affected me.
Within the first two lessons at the workshop I was already feeling God work in me. The first lesson I attended with my new Faulkner friend, Rachel, was entitled, "Before You Go, Check What Lies Beneath..." The speaker, Becky Holton, spoke about what it takes it to be a healthy missionary. Not only do you need to be physically prepared but also spiritually and emotionally. Emotional and spiritual health go hand in hand. Christian spirituality can be very deadly without emotional health. Sometimes we assume missionaries and ministers are spiritually mature
and prepared for the rigors of cross cultural kingdom work and warfare. Yet, that is not always the case. Becky gave a few pointers to become a spiritually and emotionally healthy missionary as well as good books to read for guidance. Below are those points in note form.
Spiritually healthy missionaries:
David Teague, Godly Servants: Discipleship and Spiritual Formation for missionaries
Find consistent time with God and protect it like you are protecting a precious treasure
Be aware of a rather peculiar phenomenon:
Spiritual health can mask that your emotional health is not healthy
Emotionally healthy missionaries:
A commitment to a relationship with the Lord and practicing spiritual disciplines does not automatically equip us to love and relate to people in mature and healthy ways
Community and team relationships are vital to spiritual health but it is common knowledge that many missionaries return home prematurely because of poor relationships with their co-workers
Matthew 23
Consider if you have any emotional stress fractures
Challenge yourself to see what lies beneath
Am I spiritually and emotionally healthy?
- Places to begin looking beneath:
In your time alone with God
-is it hard for you to be alone and to be quiet with God?
-do you spiritualize your problems and say it'll be OK God will take care of it?
-do you divide your life into spiritual and secular containers?
- Discover your emotional heritage:
How we were treated in the past and the way such treatment affected us
Includes the way people close to use handled their emotions
Can have enduring vulnerabilities
Helpful to look at your family culture
- Reflective functioning ability:
To reflect on my mental state and feelings and to be able to understand others feelings as well and hold it and talk about it with you
Being compassionate and empathetic
Observe your relationship patterns/repeating difficulties
Notice your stress reactions
How do you handle conflict?
Commit to quality mind and heart time with God
Take online assessment: inventory of spiritual/emotional maturity
Find some trusted travel companions
-ask them , "how do you experience me?"
-become one of these people too
The preparation phase is a great time to get help if you need it
I feel like this was the best lesson for me to go to first. I had come to the workshop that weekend not fully interested in mission trips. I knew I wanted to go on another one, but I was not intending to sign up for any so soon. This lesson was a perfect abstract to get a feel for what I should prepare myself for. The next lesson was just as perfect as the first because it was almost like a follow up or sequel if you will to the first lesson. This lesson was entitled, "The Trinity Triangle: Spiritual Formation for God's Mission."
The speaker illustrated the triangle of the trinity: God, Son, and Holy Spirit. He says the triangle begins with God, continues with Christ and then the Holy Spirit. God has given us the Holy Spirit to transform us and to give us strength to live with him to remake us. He asked if we will live within this triangle. The church is in the middle of the triangle, covered in the blood of Jesus. Van Rheenen then prompted the following questions: Do you live in. God, Christ, the Holy Spirit? Do you live outside the triangle? Do you live on the boundaries of the triangle?
Formation happens in community, Van Rheenen says. But, how does this practically happen? By some basic activities:
-prayer
-fasting
-worshipping
-bible study
-meditation-confession
He also drew a semicircle that showed a rhythm of rest, work, abiding in Jesus, fruitfulness, and pruning. There is a required slowing down or stopping in order to enter into God's activity. Van Rheenen says to listen to God and let Him work in us and then take the courageous steps for him. God is present for renewal.
All in all there were many very amazing and eye opening lessons for renewal and developing a missionary activism. I do know that while there I was so inspired to go back into the mission field and even signed up to possibly go on two mission trips next summer.
However, when I got back that renewal soon left me and the world creeped back in. I have since cancelled both of my "planned" trips. I excused myself from such on the claims of preparing for my future. I graduate in December and need to find a job soon afterward. No job that I find is going to let me take off for two months for a mission trip after only being employed for four. While I honestly feel that this is the best decision for my future right now and I am not mentally or spiritually prepared for missions right now it does make me wonder. Will I ever be ready? If I am ready will I notice and take the opportunity to serve? Is it wrong to not do a mission trip if I have the feeling that I should?
I do not have all the answers right now, but I do know that I want to answer them. I plan to take this time after graduation to "slow down". I wish that I could go without a job. I wish that I could quite literally go where the wind takes me. I have a desire to throw passion to wind and flee. Yet, a deep nagging is there in the pit of my stomach. It tells me to be realistic. I need roots and money and a stable foundation for the future. I have so many ideas for the future and each one contradicts the next. As cliché as it is (yet so very very true) I do not know about tomorrow and what it holds, but at least I know who holds tomorrow.
For now I will leave you with my ramblings. Maybe they've made sense to you, maybe they haven't. Please comment with any thoughts, concerns, etc. you may have. Until next time, peace.
-Brittany
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