After all the sadness and grief, it is the weirdest feeling losing a lost one. It is even more weird when that person goes so suddenly. My mom has been gone for five months. And at least once a day I go to get my phone and call her.
Every day (not an exaggeration) more than once, even more than twice when she was alive I called her. I called just to tell her hey and every little thing that had happened to me that day. This feeling still hasn't gone away. My younger sister, Brianna, had become a sort of replacement to these calls. I call her whenever anything happens. Yet, it is not the same.
Mostly, I have been keeping busy with my life. I haven't stopped to really think. I believe that is why I started this blog. So, that I can have a few minutes a day to reflect and remember.
This past weekend, my family came for jamboree. I had not seen them since Christmas, so it was really great getting to see all of them. My dad, sisters, uncle, brother in law, and niece all came. When my dad said goodbye to me on Sunday, he started to tear up.
It got me thinking a lot about him. I know he must be lonely even though he lives with my uncle and sister and my sister and her family are our neighbors. I understand he wants a "helpmate" again like he had in my mom. So, I have been praying to God this week that he heals my day's loneliness. I pray that my dad can find someone or something in his life, not to replace my mom, but to mend a little but of his broken heart.
I pray for all of my family that they may find someway to heal their hearts over mom's death, especially Brianna. She is so young in my eyes and I hope I can be the same kind of guide and role model to her as my mom was. I hope she can learn from me. And in that case I pray that I become the example of Christ that I am supposed to be. I pray I shine that example to my sister and I can be someone she looks up to and wants to emulate.
I ask that you please join me in these prayers and the steady healing of my family :)
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